THE TRUTH OF YOUTH

By Fred Bogusz (1997)

Some poems need an explanation, because of their personal nature. This Epic of blood sweat and tears was written almost 12 years ago when I was re-examining my life, after recovering from a depressing breakdown from Chronic Fatigue. It was my catharsis - the emotional purge I needed to help to refocus my life. Re-reading it today, confirms my decision was right.


Reflecting on my past through the eyes of disillusionment,
I am struck with a painful truth, concerning myself and my youth.
When I take an objective look, I’m angered for what society took.
Things I intrinsically knew; things you couldn’t find in a book.
Things that came naturally, that were existential to me–
Intuition, idealism, passion and affinity.

In their ignorance they stole that from me, the guardians of society.
The powers that be, religion, education and conformity.
Suppressing my innate intelligence.
Cramming my mind with their nonsense.
Knowledge foreign to my higher self, slowly stripping my independence.
Preparing me for the ways of their world. How to win and be the best.
Past the test. Competition. Forsake the rest. Create your own wealth.
Forget inner needs, understanding self or spiritual health.
Gradually eroding the real you and what you intuitively knew.
Leaving only a replica. A mould cast in synthetic goo.
While your fragile inner self fractures into fragments,
Dissipates and disappears into the marrow of your bones.
Imprisoned in solid solitude. Leaving a vacuous hole...an empty urge.
A vessel to fill with dubious knowledge against your will.
To become a walking encyclopedia–a parrot of photocopied facts,
Mimicking memorised text not totally understood.
Ostentatious squawks and pedantic prattle...over used, abused and misconstrued.
A record spinning the same tune. Stuck in the status quo,
With nowhere to go, but to conform to the norm.

Then I had the gall, convinced to say I knew it all.
Bits of paper told me so. I’ve past the test. Qualified to stand tall.
Make way for me. I’m trained you see...to be competitive.
To succeed. Money and Greed. Get what you need.
Egocentric. Neither caring or sharing...just bold and daring.
Survival. Do or die in the jungle of life.
Carving a career with a machete. Slicing, Slashing and tongue bashing.
Hacking at the corporate ladder with a firm grip on the handle of the blade to success.
Swinging on the grape vine. High as a kite. Out all night.
Roaring like a lion. Adrenaline pumping. Heart Thumping.
Feeling sure. Give me more. Marriage and Mortgage.
Busy as a bee to support a family. Blindly lost in a bubble of bourgeoisie.

Time suddenly! like a sharp cut into reality...looses it’s edge and goes blunt.
Life showing signs of stress and strain. Wasted years with little gain.
Realising you’re just a well trained pawn in their game.

To late! They have you by the balls, squeezing till you feel the pain.
Excruciating! You curse the bastards for messing with your brain.
Cramming propaganda, facts and figures for their gain.
Sterile information clogging the truth. Driving you insane.

But where is the real you? The knowledge you need to help you through.
To cope. Now that you’ve lost all hope.
Disillusioned with the split face of the human race.
The hypocracy of democracy. Corruption. Equality dying and the planet crying.

They didn’t teach you that–the power of one, for the good of all.
To understand yourself before you understood the world.
To nurture what you already had–the gift of you.
Your quintessential self. Your soul–the fruit of a predestinate seed.
No! They only showed you the path of selfish growth and greed
Trained on a lead, hungrily sniffing to fulfil an intangible need.

You know something is wrong. You can feel it in your bones,
where it was banished as a child–Truth crying for identity,
Polluted in composted marrow. Superfluous garbage and life’s artificial game.
A victim of the timeless dominance of age over the pure truth of youth